Catch Up

The Miller family traveled up to Indiana for Christmas vacation. The first three days were more like a nightmare as we sat in traffic for a total of 18 hours. Next time we'll pay closer attention to the weather and hopefully avoid blizzard conditions.

Mackenzie enjoyed Christmas more than ever this year. She woke up everyone in the house with a sweet Merry Christmas that sounded more like "Hairy Hismass." Mac was in no hurry to open up gifts and insisted on playing with each new toy before moving on to the next.

I tried to savor every moment of this holiday season knowing that Nathan would not be here next year. I opened up the paper on Christmas morning to find an article about a mother who has three sons and her husband serving in the military. All four family members were deployed during the holiday season. I cried for her and all of the other families missing someone during this time of year.

Mackenzie spent some time playing in the snow when were home. She loved it and would have stayed out there all day.

Mackenzie has officially moved out of her crib and into a big girl bed. I fully anticipated her to be up and down all night, but so far it's been a breeze. We'll see if it lasts.

Who takes priority?

It was nearly two years ago that Nathan and I sat on our front porch with a bottle of wine discussing our future with the Marine Corps. It was a fall night and we could hear one of the local football games being held in the distance. We were settling into our new role as parents, Mackenzie was only a few months old. I remember looking at Nathan, most likely through teary eyes, asking him how he would make our family a priority if he went back in. I had no concept of military life, but it seemed miserable. He had a great answer, I just can't remember it because I was busy refuting everything he said in my mind. It was during this conversation that I began to feel that anxious, nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach because I knew this was the path we would take. So who does take priority these days? Well, most of the time we do. What I didn't understand that night sitting on the front porch is the amount of pride I would feel towards my husband, the military and our country. While this doesn't make up for the time spent apart, it does make it a little easier. Nathan gives 110% to this family, all the time. There are trips to the pool, trips to the park, trips to the aquarium, trips to the beach, trips to the grocery store. And if the trips weren't enough, there are endless refills of juice, numerous episodes of Dora, books before bed, Hello Kitty bandaids, and the list goes on. I guess he does know what he's talking about every now and then.

Someone please remind me to read this post in a few months when he's gone.

The Interview

The interview went well.

However, I do not think I will be offered the job. I have not actually spoken with the school, but the job posting was taken down and I can't imagine they would do that if they had not already offered and had someone accept the position. At first I felt annoyed and slightly disappointed, but I'm okay with not working right now...or am I just telling myself that since I didn't get the job? It felt pretty darn good putting a suit on and walking out of the house with a purpose. I felt like my old self, before the military, before moving 4 times in one year, before spending 6 out of 12 months away from my husband. It's not that I like my old self better, it's just that I'm still getting acquainted with my new self. Did I lose anyone?

I spoke with Nathan on the phone tonight about not getting the job and his response was-

"Who cares....you already have a job, you're the mother of our daughter."

And THAT is why I love my husband.

This and That

It feels like so much has been going on, but when I sit down to write about it, I can't seem to think of anything important. Mackenzie and I are currently in Florida visiting Nathan. We made it a whole three weeks at Cherry Point before deciding to leave. I know some people would just tough it out, but I realized that if we have the opportunity to be together as a family, we need to take it. Next time we are apart will probably be for a deployment and getting the fam together then won't really be an option. Military families spend so much time apart and I'm learning just how stressful it can be.

When Mackenzie saw Nathan she didn't really want anything to do with him. It made us both a little sad. She was very clingy and acted annoyed when Nathan and I were sitting next to each other. Mac would position herself in between us or on top of my lap. Their relationship is so important to me and I want to do everything I can to help foster it, but she's still too young to discuss Daddy. What to do, what to do.

Nathan, Mackenzie and I went to the beach this afternoon. I watched as father and daughter ran around in the sand and everything felt right. I love the beach, it's the one place I can go and forget about every worry. I probably had a smile on my face the entire time. I hope I never forget this afternoon.

See those animals Mac has in her hands? She is OBSESSED with these things. We have found ourselves strategizing on how to get them away from her without a full blown tantrum. Distraction is usually the best route. Sometimes I'll find her playing with them and they will be kissing or she will kiss them, or they will kiss one of her other barn yard animals. Kissing is big right now, I also saw her trying to make the crayons kiss.

Where have you been all my life?

True Military Wives Confessions

Did I confess? Of course!

Happy Anniversary!

November 18th, 2006, Nathan and I were married

November 18th, 2007, Nathan and I celebrated our anniversary and decided he would apply for Officer Candidate School.

Today, I am celebrating alone with a glass of wine and the flowers my hubby sent.

I am actually okay with the situation, I need to get my feet wet as a military wife and it almost feels like a right of passage. The military has completely changed my perspective on relationships. I can't get hung up on things like a missed anniversary or missed birthday. What's the point? I value the time we do get to spend together, the moments between a father and daughter, the moments that make us a family.

I have selected a few of my favorite pictures from our wedding day.

On a separate note, I checked my hotmail account today and found a newsletter from milblogging.com. I actually found several of them, but was drawn to one in particular. There is a military family in need of prayer and support. While serving in Afghanistan, Captain Rob Yllescas was severely injured by an IED. This family is in the beginning stages of a very long journey. His wife has started a blog to keep family and friends updated. Take a look if you have a chance. http://yllescasfamily.blogspot.com

A day at the beach

I think Mackenzie's face shows exactly how I was feeling last Wednesday. We found out that Nathan was to check-in to ATC school on November 18th. Yikes! Not only is that our two year anniversary, it is about 2 months earlier than I was expecting. I'm trying not to be one of those "oh, poor me" kind of girls, so encouraging words are warmly accepted at this point. I knew he would be leaving again (and again, and again, and again) but I thought we would have a little time to meet people and familiarize ourselves with the area. Guess I'll be flying solo on this one.

Here are my observations of the base so far; not as many children as I expected, the playgrounds are usually empty, NO cell phone reception at our house, close to the beach, pretty laid back atmosphere, not a lot of places to shop other than the Super Wal-Mart. Oh, and the restaurant selection is limited, unless you like Bojangles' (famous for their Chicken 'n Biscuits). I think the base will grow on me as I meet more people and become involved with the programs here.

Despite the challenges our family faces, I am thankful for this life and the path we have taken. I feel myself changing, growing. I often have to remind myself that with great challenge, comes great reward. I believe this to be true and have already seen those rewards through relationships and new experiences. So, while the months ahead will be different than I had planned, I know we will be alright.

The pictures below were taken today. It's November and we went to the beach. That's crazy to me, can you tell we're from Indiana?