Yesterday

Yesterday was one of those days where I would have given anything for Nathan to come walking through that door at 4:00. From the moment we woke up to the moment we went to bed things were difficult. I miss having...

• An extra set of hands to help with the girls. I can't even imagine when they are both mobile. Piper, listen to your mom and take your time learning how to crawl. Piper seems to be more physically demanding while Mac is more mentally draining.

• An extra set of hands to help with the house. I'm not going to lie, there's crap everywhere. The rule in the house is that Mac can watch a TV show in the morning and again at night when I'm putting Piper to bed. If she has any more than that she gets all annoying and whiny. Good rule equals messy house. Once both the girls are in bed I am exhausted and have NO energy. All I can do is sit on the couch and watch reality TV shows.

• Another adult to have a real conversation with. Yesterday (and pretty much everyday) I had to listen to Mackenzie explain to me how "we are smart....like nachos" and answer a million questions like "Can we pet humpback whales?" See what I mean about mentally draining? All. Day. LONG! Don't get me wrong, I love hearing the stuff that comes out of her mouth and it provides me with cheap entertainment. However, I could use a conversation that doesn't revolve around the animal kingdom, Dora, her next birthday or Halloween treats.

Did I forget anything? Oh yeah, Happy 235th Birthday to the United States Marine Corps! I wouldn't put up with this lifestyle for anyone else.

And just for fun here is Piper trying to tell me to stop putting her in the swing. One time I found her sleeping like this.

Things I Want to Remember

Last night we were driving home from dinner with friends and there was a slow county song on the radio. Mac got really quiet and I could tell she was thinking about something profound. Here is how the conversation went down...

"Mom, I miss my daddy."

"I know, I miss him too. Daddy thinks about you all the time. "

"Mom, is daddy on a big boat?"

"Yes, he had to go away and help people, remember?"

"Mom, he is always in my heart."

"That's right."

"Mom, I'm a baby deer."

I guess she had too much dad talk at that point. She also informed me that her dad is like a pirate since he lives on a boat.

Lets Be Honest

Nathan has been gone for two months now. I've struggled with whether or not I wanted to make this journey public or keep it private in a journal. I came to the conclusion that we have so many people supporting us through prayer, care packages, trips to NC, out of the blue phone calls, and letters that it only seems fair to keep these loved ones informed.

The past two months have been a whirlwind. I could tell you about Hurricane Earl that almost happened the week Nathan left. Or I could tell you about the beach vacation we had originally planned to take during block leave and how my mom and Aunt came down to make sure that beachfront room didn't go to waste. I could tell you that I was moved to tears when we returned home from our beach getaway to see a package from my long time friend, Jillian, with books inside for Mackenzie that touched on military related topics. I could tell you how my super busy and 21 weeks pregnant, sister-in-law flew down and literally played with Mackenzie for three days straight. And then there's the recent trip to Atlanta where we were welcomed by my in-laws. I could tell you how Piper was the most perfect baby during our 10 hour drive home or how we got locked out of the car less than an hour away from the driveway. I could tell you how Mackenzie has struggled with her dad's absence and how Piper reminds me of him on a daily basis. I could tell you how proud I am of my husband that chooses to serve his country.

From here on this will serve as my journal. I can't promise there will always be something interesting to read, but it will be here nonetheless. Thank you to those that have reached out to us during this time, it means the world to our family.

Happy Birthday Mackenzie

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Ok, so the brothers come into town so we start making obstacle courses for Mac...she does well... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjluIgloyy0

I mean Snow White gets jacked at the end...!

Where I Should Be

When I returned home from our Indiana trip I had full intentions of going back to teaching this school year. I knew it would be crazy with Nathan gone, but we've done crazy around here before and we all survived...barely. I started checking out the infant room Piper would be spending her day in and the three year old room Mac would be moving up into after her birthday. Something didn't feel right but I pushed it aside and figured it would just take some getting use to.

I talked with Mackenzie's teachers about the right time to transition her to the new room and explained my concerns. Nathan deploys the end of September and I didn't want her to feel like all the people she knows and loves are leaving her. Dad leaves me (for a REALLY long time) to go to work, mom leaves me to go to work and now all new teachers? I started to question my decision to return to work.

Work....that's what didn't feel right. I never really wanted to be a stay at home mom. I worked after having Mackenzie, I worked after staying home with Mac when we first moved here, why wouldn't I work after having Piper? This was different, I can't explain how strongly I felt about staying home. The intensity almost surprised me. After discussing it with my husband, we decided this is where I should be. At home, with the girls.

Yes, things will be different in terms of how we spend our money. We will be driving more than flying, we will be finding free things to do in our community, we WILL stick to our budget. I'm okay with that. Now I get to spend my days with these two lovely girls and actually be there for them during what will be one of our most difficult years. I know it won't be all hugs and kisses and I'm okay with that too. We've already had our fair share of strange events that only happen when your husband is gone.

I handed in my letter of resignation last week and I would like to say it was emotional, but it wasn't. I walked out of the building with a new sense of freedom. It felt like I finally did something for myself. I want to thank our families for their support during this decision making process. And I especially want to thank my husband for listening, understanding and encouraging me to take this step.

**I have NO problem with moms that choose to work. I was and will be again a working mom. I don't think daycare is evil or a bad thing, I'm really going to miss Mackenzie's daycare. This decision reflects where our family is at the moment.

Getting Older

Early in the summer I decided that I wanted a garden box in my backyard. I dropped several hints to Nathan and he made several attempts to ignore me. Well, he must have really been missing me when we were in Indiana because when I returned home he had built me one! I was really excited to paint it and get everything going.

I transplanted two tomato plants (hope they make it) and found that broccoli and carrots can be planted late in the summer. My point is that I must be getting older because 10 years ago you never would've heard the words garden box or days to harvest coming out of my mouth.

To make matters even worse, I also enjoy sitting in my rocking chair and watching the sprinkler water these darn plants. It gets a little more entertaining when Mackenzie is out there running around and digging for "bones" in what she thinks is just a big pile of dirt. (Who knows, she may be right.)

I don't have any grey hair yet, but I'm sure that's soon to follow with this upcoming deployment. At least I have two lively girls to keep me young, right?

This picture has nothing to do with the post, but I can't have pictures of one daughter and not the other. Mackenzie walked around in her underwear more than she did her bathing suit when we were at the lake.