Nathan comes home tomorrow for the first time in 5 months. As I rocked Mackenzie to sleep tonight I thought about the last time Nathan was in this house. It was January 18th, it was cold. I remember a lot of details from this day, like how Nathan had a close shave, a fresh haircut and was wearing a blue dress shirt. I mostly sat around, watching him pack a single duffel bag and then checking it over and over again. I begged Nathan to read a few bedtime stories to the video camera so I could have Mac watch them. I wanted her to see his face and hear his voice. Mackenzie was easy back then, not very entertaining, but those were the days when she would sleep for hours in the swing. At one point Nathan looked at her, looked at me and said, "It's hard for me to look at her." This, of course, broke my heart. I remember hugging him good-bye and watching him walk out the door. That was a rough day.
A few days after Nathan left I proudly hooked up the video camera, sat the baby swing (and the baby) in front of the TV, pushed the play button and what do I find??? My sweet husband reading the bedtime stories, only to be drowned out by my crying and sniffling that I managed to direct straight into the microphone. The picture was a little shaky too, that must have been from me wiping away the tears. Oh well, we live and learn.....I clearly cannot handle anything like this on the day Nathan is scheduled to leave.
Here are a few other things I've learned about myself during these past 5 months.
1) I can successfully manage 4 checkbooks without overdrawing
2) I can live off cereal
3) I cannot watch Extreme Home Makeover without crying
4) I don't care about sports when my husband is not around
5) I'm pretty good at writing letters
6) I can survive my workday on very small amounts of sleep
7) I am easily annoyed by people that complain
8) I can be a sometimes-single mom
9) I am very prideful (some might say, um, stubborn) and I like to do things on my own
Thursday, May 22, 2008
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4 comments:
i love reading your posts.
Your lists prove how much more we can learn about ourselves when put in difficult/unique situations. As always, thanks for sharing!
This was a really sweet post. I imagine that was a difficult day and you write about it so beautifully.
Tip for the next time you have your husband read bed time stories - - put the video camera on a tripod and leave the room. I would have been a sniffling mess too.
Wow! 4 checkbooks! Holy cow! Good for you! That is a lot to keep track of.
Hope you all have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend!
Wow. 5 months! It is so hard when your husband is away. Joe travels a lot and I always miss him. But, it is true that you learn a lot and there are some good things about having time on your own too.
I also hate being around complainers. Sucks the energy right out of you.
I am looking forward to seeing you and Nathan.
All good things, I like #1, there is nothing wrong with being stubborn, it can get you far in life. It was so good seeing you all this weekend! I know you are excited/nervous/terrified about the next step for you guys, but in looking at your list and seeing you guys this weekend, I know you are ready for whatever comes your way and you will all be stronger and closer because of it.
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